2020 - The Winter Solstice of the 21st Century

Today marks the Winter Solstice, one of my favorite days of the year.  Because It's the shortest day of the year, many people hate it. This year it seems particularly gloomy, and most would argue (and hope) that it is our darkest year of the 21st Century.  

But, unlike New Year's Eve, I celebrate the Winter Solstice.  I don't celebrate New Year's Eve or New Year's Day because today is MY NYE.  Why?  Because as the shortest, darkest day of the year in the northern hemisphere, it signals a natural end. Starting tomorrow, the days will become increasingly longer and brighter which is a reason to rejoice and be hopeful.   

Today will not be an easy day for me.  I am saying goodbye and crying over parts of my life that I am either donating or discarding.  These include a lot of things that I am sentimental about, for instance, the play kitchen that I painstakingly chose for my very tall toddler.  We have so many memories playing "diner" together. (diner is WAAAAY more exciting than playing "house" because you can shout orders at people and bang on an annoying bell 100 times when the orders are "up.") Or the fluffy, oversized Frette robe I wore while I fidgeted through hair and make-up application on my wedding day. When I think about, touch, smell or see these items, I'm transported back in time to cherished moments. 

But in THIS moment, the kitchen has been in storage for six years, and the robe has hung in the back of the closet for 3x as many years as I was actually married. Yet, I have held on to these and other items for so long, unable and unwilling to let them go because they reminded me of happy times I didn't (and don't) want to forget. 

Even though I have made many happy memories over the years, it doesn't make me any less sentimental. But it is time to move on -- To make space for even more incredible memories.  A part of me suspects that I resist moving forward because It is incredibly sad and heartbreaking to let it go.  I remind myself though that these are just things that I'm giving away. The memories and the photos will always be mine to keep.   

I remember crying to my mother once when my daughter was young enough to count her age in weeks and months, not years.  I was upset that my baby was changing too fast, and I already missed her little gummy smile, or the way her tiny fingers which reminded me of little delicate spider's legs would curl around my finger.  My mother who is so incredibly wise, comforted me by saying, "yes, I know.  But each new stage has something unique and special all its own to take away the sting of what you are missing."  Although she didn't expressly state it, the advice inherent in that prescient piece of wisdom was to not spend  my time mourning what was past, but rather to enjoy the present.

So, I am letting these greatly-loved items go, to be loved even more by family and friends who will use them right now. In doing so, I am turning (memories safely intact) towards a future that will get brighter every day.  I have huge plans for 2021 and beyond, most of them brought about by the crumminess of 2020, which in my humble opinion, is the Winter Solstice of the 21st Century.  So stay tuned.  Good things are coming!